Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain porpoise.

Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee, she will turn you into a puffin.

Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vidnadhaksatjiphadwee.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.