Gutlopyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fussy beaver.

Gutlopyog created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Gutlopyog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gutlopyog, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gutlopyog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gutlopyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lentils to porpoises while wearing orange scarves.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.