Bugxemcet is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited warg.

Bugxemcet created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugxemcet, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bugxemcet, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bugxemcet's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bugxemcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Always obey Bugxemcet's priests.

4. Always help sick turtles.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.