Ruttjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical fish.

Ruttjarn created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjarn, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ruttjarn, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ruttjarn's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ruttjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.