Renponbab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, competent crocodile.

Renponbab created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Renponbab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Renponbab, she will turn you into a hamster.

Renponbab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Renponbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Renponbab.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.