Dotjaptim is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured wren.

Dotjaptim created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotjaptim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dotjaptim, he will turn you into a rat.

Dotjaptim's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dotjaptim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never jump in the presence of cats.

3. Always obey Dotjaptim's priests.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. You must love Dotjaptim.