Botxemfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering yak.

Botxemfarn created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botxemfarn, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Botxemfarn, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Botxemfarn's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Botxemfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed oranges to gulls while wearing green shirts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Fast once a month.