Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy crow.

Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss, he will turn you into a plant.

Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somlopxem Rowhamgess Fumxemdiss.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed bananas to dogs while wearing indigo coats.