Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong wyrm.

Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Zodwegstaf Capwikxembell's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always look after injured mice.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.