Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, competent weasel.

Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad, he will ignore you.

Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Dosslansanflamrawyarvogtik Femnarlmad on top of important buildings.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Never pour water over plants.