Fobtarpmilrat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tiresome dog.

Fobtarpmilrat created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobtarpmilrat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fobtarpmilrat, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fobtarpmilrat's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fobtarpmilrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.