Bedlenrapbet is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow aardvark.

Bedlenrapbet created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bedlenrapbet, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bedlenrapbet, she will come to you in dreams.

Bedlenrapbet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bedlenrapbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. You must love Bedlenrapbet.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bedlenrapbet on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed rice to bats while wearing mauve tights.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.