Nilstiparn is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous crow.

Nilstiparn created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nilstiparn, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nilstiparn, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nilstiparn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Nilstiparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.