Gampinjen Vegbusflig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish crow.

Gampinjen Vegbusflig created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Gampinjen Vegbusflig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gampinjen Vegbusflig, she will remove you from existence.

Gampinjen Vegbusflig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gampinjen Vegbusflig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gampinjen Vegbusflig.

3. Hide from yellow tapirs for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Pray towards the east.