Xembetnel is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, vain whale.

Xembetnel created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xembetnel, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Xembetnel, it will ignore you.

Xembetnel's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xembetnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Xembetnel.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xembetnel.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.