Fenquartcet is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair chicken.

Fenquartcet created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenquartcet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fenquartcet, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Fenquartcet's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fenquartcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Hide if seven bats approach from the north.