Vanzodjad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, competent naga.

Vanzodjad created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanzodjad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vanzodjad, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vanzodjad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vanzodjad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about ants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Erect five zinc sculptures of Vanzodjad on top of important buildings.

5. Hide from blue nematodes for they are unholy.