Bamgemgov is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful whale.

Bamgemgov created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamgemgov, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bamgemgov, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bamgemgov's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bamgemgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed tomatoes to whales while wearing violet kilts.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Never talk about amino acids.