Yakpogvan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident dragonfly.

Yakpogvan created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakpogvan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yakpogvan, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yakpogvan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Yakpogvan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yakpogvan.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never wear mauve shoes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never pour water over plants.