Cidkargeb is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful scorpion.

Cidkargeb created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidkargeb, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cidkargeb, she will not care at all.

Cidkargeb's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cidkargeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect seven tin sculptures of Cidkargeb on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.