Vonkflisbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, fast crab.

Vonkflisbog created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkflisbog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkflisbog, she will turn you into a rat.

Vonkflisbog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vonkflisbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vonkflisbog on top of all buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.