Fudkenpak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking hedgehog.

Fudkenpak created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fudkenpak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fudkenpak, he will turn you into a snail.

Fudkenpak's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Fudkenpak's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Never play with disobedient children.