Ponnadbitfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, stupid crocodile.

Ponnadbitfarn created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponnadbitfarn, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ponnadbitfarn, he will not care at all.

Ponnadbitfarn's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ponnadbitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about gravity.