Fonlibwee is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, pitiless finch.

Fonlibwee created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fonlibwee, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fonlibwee, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fonlibwee's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fonlibwee's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Put Fonlibwee first in all things.