Tafhakmot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered meerkat.

Tafhakmot created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafhakmot, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tafhakmot, she will turn you into a plant.

Tafhakmot's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tafhakmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never paint your legs magenta.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never go into green rooms.