Quartwigdon is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, cheerful eagle.

Quartwigdon created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartwigdon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quartwigdon, it will curse you with boils.

Quartwigdon's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Quartwigdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Do not take Quartwigdon's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quartwigdon.