Gebyarptarp is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, two-faced cat.

Gebyarptarp created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebyarptarp, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gebyarptarp, he will cry a lot.

Gebyarptarp's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gebyarptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to tortoises while wearing brown tights.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look after injured foxes.