Natbembin Hakpidbest is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, effective bird.

Natbembin Hakpidbest created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Natbembin Hakpidbest, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Natbembin Hakpidbest, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Natbembin Hakpidbest's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Natbembin Hakpidbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed lentils to tortoises while wearing turquoise shoes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

5. Do not kill bats.