Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog, it will come to you in dreams.

Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bifingkonbitzodbestkarpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.