Funkarbap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, strong horse.

Funkarbap created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkarbap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Funkarbap, it will not care at all.

Funkarbap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Funkarbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Do not shave your arms.