Flabgeptan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless human.

Flabgeptan created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabgeptan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flabgeptan, she will turn you into a hamster.

Flabgeptan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Flabgeptan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.