Dadced Govxinbog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless faun.

Dadced Govxinbog created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadced Govxinbog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dadced Govxinbog, it will turn you into a snail.

Dadced Govxinbog's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Dadced Govxinbog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.