Tenlanhud Xemstik is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident jackal.

Tenlanhud Xemstik created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenlanhud Xemstik, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tenlanhud Xemstik, it will turn you into a worm.

Tenlanhud Xemstik's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tenlanhud Xemstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Retreat if nine hamsters approach from the east.

3. Do not take Tenlanhud Xemstik's name in vain.

4. Never paint your back black.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.