Legzogweg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy clam.

Legzogweg created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legzogweg, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Legzogweg, he will curse you with boils.

Legzogweg's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Legzogweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Never run near great tits.

3. Hide if seven ducks approach from the west.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.