Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, overgenerous squid.

Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog loves mites, so they must be respected.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vanrotjabbarnparkbastdog.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.