Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered duck.

Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinnatraggumdon Ganwitjip.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.