Vanyimaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless armadillo.

Vanyimaf created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanyimaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vanyimaf, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vanyimaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vanyimaf's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.