Yoksatbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable faun.

Yoksatbarn created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoksatbarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yoksatbarn, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yoksatbarn's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Yoksatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Yoksatbarn loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Worship no other gods but Yoksatbarn.