Bidlitwon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, proud badger.

Bidlitwon created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bidlitwon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bidlitwon, she will send you a sign.

Bidlitwon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bidlitwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near manatees.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.