Hudpadarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, generous shrew.

Hudpadarn created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudpadarn, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hudpadarn, it will turn you into a dog.

Hudpadarn's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hudpadarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hudpadarn.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hudpadarn loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not cook food in pots.