Hancamcut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, staggering wombat.

Hancamcut created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Hancamcut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hancamcut, she will turn you into a worm.

Hancamcut's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Hancamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hancamcut.

3. Never feed figs to squirrels while wearing magenta shirts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. You must love Hancamcut.