Yarpveenlin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, contented centipede.

Yarpveenlin created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpveenlin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpveenlin, she will not care at all.

Yarpveenlin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yarpveenlin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always help shrews.