Gutlistwad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, pitiless penguin.

Gutlistwad created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutlistwad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gutlistwad, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gutlistwad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gutlistwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about fire.