Nurcidjad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent porpoise.

Nurcidjad created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurcidjad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurcidjad, she will destroy your home planet.

Nurcidjad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nurcidjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Nurcidjad loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Hide if four geese approach from the east.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.