Tanjamwee is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, strong lobster.

Tanjamwee created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanjamwee, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tanjamwee, she will cry a lot.

Tanjamwee's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tanjamwee's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Tanjamwee loves great tits, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about monkeys.