Tighamfat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful whale.

Tighamfat created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tighamfat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tighamfat, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tighamfat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tighamfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Tighamfat on top of important buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away from red tapirs, for they are unholy.