Teencunnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthinking spider.

Teencunnurt created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencunnurt, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Teencunnurt, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Teencunnurt's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Teencunnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.