Omtyarnarjip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring bat.

Omtyarnarjip created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtyarnarjip, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Omtyarnarjip, it will torture you forever.

Omtyarnarjip's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Omtyarnarjip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Omtyarnarjip on top of important buildings.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat carrots.