Nigbodtun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud porpoise.

Nigbodtun created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigbodtun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nigbodtun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nigbodtun's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nigbodtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never sing near cats.

4. Nigbodtun loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nigbodtun.