Tiggetgen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous zebra.

Tiggetgen created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tiggetgen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tiggetgen, she will be very sad.

Tiggetgen's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tiggetgen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always wear fawn.